A few weeks ago on my Instagram I asked people to submit questions they have about eating disorder recovery. I received SO many great questions, so this blogpost is the first of many Eating Disorder Recovery Q&As.
Let’s get to it!
Question 1: “Is recovery even possible? I’m giving up hope.”
I really appreciate the opportunity to talk about this, because I know it’s something everyone struggles with at some point in their recovery, and I have lots to say about it.
Would it surprise you to learn that researchers have concluded that hope isn’t an emotion? They define hope as a way of thinking or a “cognitive process”. I first learned about this when I read Brene Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection. She cited work done by C.R. Snyder and his hope theory.
This is really good news for us since our emotions tend to ebb and flow, can be unpredictable, and are the most unstable of the three parts of mental health (thoughts, feelings and behaviors).
Instead of waiting around for hope to come back or to find you, hope is something you can practice, learn and cultivate.
I’m really interested in this because I find hopelessness to be dangerous and something I want to help my clients avoid. Prevention and treatment of hopelessness is essential in recovery, and I’d encourage you to take every opportunity to address it.
Essentially there are 3 parts of hope as a thought process:
- A goal
- Resilience
- Self-belief
Hope might sound like: I want to recover from my eating disorder. I know it will be difficult and will take perseverance, grit, flexibility and maybe even some creativity. And, I believe I can do it.
If you are feeling hopeless, I’d recommend that you work with your treatment team on making small, actionable behavioral goals that are realistic, timely and specific.
I’d recommend regularly following up on those goals at sessions with your dietitian and therapist. You will likely need to be willing to sit with discomfort as you take committed action to achieving those goals. You may need to be able to tolerate disappointment while being willing to try again. You may need to figure out a new way of doing things, and be open about the hurdles that come up as you work on those goals.
Further, hope is cultivated in relationships characterized by boundaries, consistency, and support. That’s something I keep in mind as I work with people recovering from eating disorders, and something you should seek in a treatment team member.
It’s possible to be at risk of thinking that if you really want something that it should be easier. Then when it proves challenging, it must not be worth it or that you don’t have what it takes. Neither of those things are true.
I really wish eating disorder recovery was easy. However, I know first hand that it’s excruciating. I also know first hand that it’s completely possible and absolutely worth it. You will never regret the time and effort you put into it.
Meet yourself where you’re at with small, achievable goals and let yourself grow, evolve and change over time.
Question 2: “Is fully recovered a thing?”
It is a thing! I couldn’t do what I do without believing that full recovery is absolutely possible.
The idea of “full recovery” is a mixture of subjective and objective markers. There are clear therapeutic and clinical goals in recovery – things like return of regular menstruation, acceptance of your natural body weight and size, no longer engaging in ED behaviors, increase in emotional awareness and tolerance, appropriate and healthy coping skills for life stressors, full nutrition rehabilitation, etc. Subjectively, you may have your own criteria for what full recovery would mean for you and that should absolutely be part of your treatment plan.
The most important thing to consider with full recovery is not only that it’s possible but also that it will require healthy boundaries and continued vigilance. When you have a history of struggling with an eating disorder, there are certain things you will want to make sure you avoid, or that you continue practicing. I’ll list some examples of what this might mean:
- Avoid diets, food rules or eating regimens. You’ve worked hard in recovery to be self-directed with your eating. Set a healthy boundary to make sure it stays that way.
- Maintain mindful awareness of your intentions for self-care decisions.
- Avoid body checking in any form. This could mean weighing yourself, lingering in front of the mirror, “checking yourself” in reflective surfaces, touching or grabbing parts of your body, or sucking in.
- Practice positive and supportive self-talk. Treat yourself with kindness, respect and compassion.
- Advocate for yourself. Make sure to clearly communicate your thoughts, feelings and needs. People often use an eating disorder to talk for them, and will need to develop assertiveness to achieve and maintain recovery.
I hope this prompts you to consider what healthy boundaries you will need in your own recovery.
If you have any questions you’d like me to answer in upcoming eating disorder recovery Q&As, feel free to leave a comment! Stay tuned for more to come.
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